You Don't Know What You Will Miss... Until It Is Gone...

Giles sighed. Another flash of lightening intermittently lit up the room he was sitting in, which only compounded Buffy's accusation that all he'd done by returning was to bring the English weather with him. However, what she did not know was that he had also brought his love for her with him too... but had he had a chance to tell her? No...

He was puzzled why his Slayer was so... uncivilised towards him. He had thought she would have been happy with his return, but he, instead, had got the shock of his life when he almost immediately had found himself flat on his back from a punch from her. Had it not been for Dawn's intervention, he really could not say what would have happened.

He sighed again, though his time it was heavy with regret. Perhaps it had been a mistake to hope that they might have been able to start anew. He looked at the sleeping young lady in his arms and silently thanked her. At this precise moment in time, Dawn was the only reason he had decided to stay. He still could not vanquish the memory of her distress, not only of finding him on the floor with a bloody nose, but also that her sister had been the one to inflict such an injury. He empathised of course, considering he had been the injured party and that it also had caused *him* some amount of distress.

He looked across the room at the clock on the mantelpiece. 2.30am... Buffy would be returning soon and the last thing he wanted was for Dawn to be woken by her sister's return. He would like to have thought that Buffy might show some discretion for her sister's state of sleep and would enter silently, but for some unknown reason, her sister's welfare and wellbeing were the last things on Buffy's mind at the moment. More how to cause him as much pain as possible appeared to occupy the seasoned Slayer's mind.

Giles gently shook Dawn's shoulder and whispered, "Time for bed, Dawn, you've got school in the morning." He watched her groan a little, then shift, but quickly resettle against his chest without opening her eyes. He chuckled a moment thinking that perhaps Joyce would have known what to do in such a situation, however he lacked experience in such matters, so he decided to take things into his own hands. He placed a hand beneath her knees, snaked the other to the back of her neck and slowly stood, his muscles groaning at the weight of her. She helped by shifting in her sleep to a higher position. He chuckled again as he shook his head, then started for the stairs.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my sister!?" Buffy yelled from the doorway.

Giles turned and glared at her and in an intense angry whisper he said, "I am simply putting your sister to bed." Without waiting for any kind of reaction from Buffy, he started up the stairs. His heart sank with each step, until by the time he had reached Dawn's bedroom it felt as though it were made of stone. He placed Dawn on the bed, rolled back the covers and then placed them over her. He was loath to wake her and he most certainly would not undress her. He was in the process of getting Dawn's favourite soft toy, when he heard a sneer from the doorway, "You gonna let her sleep in her clothes?"

He picked up the toy, debating whether to ignore Buffy or not, but decided against it. As he placed the toy within arms reach of Dawn, he turned and glared at his once Slayer, "If you have a better idea, Buffy, then I am all ears," he grated out at her through gritted teeth of anger. "Why not wake her," Buffy suggested and took a couple of steps into the room, giving every indication that that was exactly what she was going to do.

Giles stepped in front of her and said, "She has school later today and it is two o'clock in the morning. Let her sleep."

Buffy stood in front of him and as she placed her hands on her hips, she said, "You gonna make me?"

Giles was more than a little versed on when a challenge was being made and he was tempted to take her up on it, such was his anger at her treatment of him, but logic took over and he shook his head. "No," he stated, " I had simply expected that your love for your sister would be enough for you to let her sleep." With that said, he took a brief glance at Dawn, to make sure she still slept, glared at Buffy and then left the room.


Giles sighed as he picked up the empty bowl that had had the latest craze of chips in them, turned off the TV and turned towards the kitchen. He saw Buffy standing in the doorway with a smug smile on her face. "You woke her," he hissed at her.

Buffy nodded, "Well, she shouldn't sleep in her clothes," she explained with the smile still on her face.

Giles angrily shook his head, but remained silent. If the truth were known, he was speechless. His anger at his ex-Slayer was seething so fiercely inside him, he knew that if he were to say anything then he would not stop for a week. He passed Buffy without looking at her and entered the kitchen. His heart wept and his soul sighed to hear the kitchen door swing open again the moment he had entered. Without turning to her, he said, "Buffy, please, I am tired and wish to go to bed the moment I have washed up the dirty dishes."

Buffy moved into the room until she stood directly behind Giles. "You know," she softly whispered, "you spend a lot of time with Dawn, Xander and Willow, but you don't spend anytime at all with me. Why's that, Giles?"

Giles' heart skipped a beat with hope and he turned to face her. 'My Buffy', he thought as he turned, but immediately wished he hadn't. His Buffy hadn't returned. There in front of him still stood the obnoxious, petty Slayer that he had been so unceremoniously introduced to. He sighed as he replied, "It is not of *my* doing Buffy."

Buffy cackled, "Sure it is Giles," she said as she whopped him on the arm.

Giles subconsciously rubbed at his arm where she had hit it. He would normally have put it down to her ineptness of judging her Slayer strength, but looking into her eyes and he knew that she had known exactly what she had done. "It is *you* Buffy," he stated emphatically, "that appears unable to accept my return. It is *you* that is pushing me away with every attempt I make to get close to you. I would have welcomed you with open arms, and have done so in the past, but someone can only hold their arms open in welcome for so long before returning them to their sides, empty."

Buffy took a step towards him and angrily hissed, "There was a time when you would have tried harder!"

"Agreed," Giles softly replied, "but perhaps the time where my heart cannot take the disappointment any longer has arrived." Buffy hissed through her teeth at him. She grabbed his arm and propelled him towards the front door. "Well, Mr disappointment," she grated out at him, "why don't you go find someone else to feel *pleased* with."

"Wha'?" Giles gasped in surprise.

Buffy shoved Giles in the back, towards the front door. "Go on," she urged him through her clenched teeth, "go find someone else." Unprepared for the sudden shove in the back, Giles hit the front door with all the force of the shove and with no time to throw his hands up for protection. He smashed the look through pane of glass with his forehead. A gash immediately appeared there and blood trickled into his eyes from it. He slid to the floor dazed, blinking back not only the shock of the blow but also the blood from his eyes.

Buffy grabbed him by his collar, opened the door and shoved him outside. She stood over his body and yelled, "And don't come back... EVER!"

The moment he heard the slam of the door to Buffy's home, Giles shifted his bruised body to the side and then sat up. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, wiped the blood from his eyes and then pressed the cotton swab over the cut. He was tempted to bang on the door and demand an explanation, but his heart hurt with Buffy's rejection of him, so instead, he slowly stood and staggered off into the night, thinking of where he could go.


"What have you done, Buffy?" Dawn squealed at the Slayer, running down the stairs.

Buffy stood in front of Dawn and stopped her in her tracks. "What I should have done a long time ago," she stated. She then took Dawn's chin in her hand and with a smile she said, "We don't need him, Dawn. He was just getting in the way."

Dawn forced her chin out of Buffy's grip, wincing when her fingernails scratched her, and said, "You might not need him, Buffy, but *I* *do*." She then dodged around Buffy and opened the front door. She squinted into the night but couldn't see any sign of Giles. She whimpered as she turned back to face her sister. "He's gone," she whispered, her voice wobbling.

"So, he finally did it..." Buffy smiled.

Dawn slammed the front door and yelled, "Yeah, he finally did it, but you know what the worst thing is?"

Buffy shook her head.

"Out of all of us, you were the one that he needed the most." Dawn strode past her sister and angrily stomped upstairs.


Buffy blinked at her retreating back, before yelling, "You get your butt down here, right this minute, Missy."

"Go hang yourself, Buffy. I hate you!" Dawn yelled back down at her. Buffy could have responded, but Dawn's words 'out of all of us, you were the one that he needed the most' kept playing themselves back in her mind, rendering her speechless. She sat with a *thud!* on the coffee table. 'Out of all of us, you were the one that he needed the most'... Buffy started to cry. Why hadn't she seen that? She loved Giles, so why couldn't she see that he might have felt the same. She thought back on her attitude towards him and felt an ache in the pit of her stomach painfully twist it. She started to weep in earnest.

"Buffy?" Dawn gently called from the bottom of the stairs, "Buffy, please don't cry. I'm sorry... I didn't mean it."

Buffy turned to her sister and held out her arms. She choked on a sob as Dawn entered them. Now she understood what Giles had meant by 'you can only open your arms for so long before returning them to your side, empty'. And she thought she knew his pain each time she had rejected him. "It's... It's all right, Dawn, it... it isn't what you said", she whispered into her sister's hair.

"Why'd you make Giles leave?" Dawn whispered back.

"Because I was jealous," Buffy replied, "jealous of *you*."

"Me?"

Buffy nodded and said, "Because he was spending so much time with you and none with me."

"But you *hit* him when he came back," Dawn stated, "What else did you think he would do?"

"We're not talking logic here, y'know," Buffy replied, "We're talking about me, miss foot in mouth, miss I have an aversion to getting close to anyone."

"You're not *that* bad..."

"Oh I'm bad enough, Dawn," Buffy said and then stiffened.

"What?"

"Giles," Buffy breathed her reply, several tendrils of fear clenching her heart. "I've sent him out whilst it's still dark."

"Oh Buffy," Dawn immediately whimpered.

Buffy stood, frantically wiped the tears from her face and eyes and asked,

"Will you be all right on your own? I've got to go look for him."

"Please go get him, Buffy," Dawn urged whilst nodding, "Tell him you're sorry. Tell him anything, as long as he comes back."

Buffy kissed her forehead, promised she would and turned and left, running as fast as she could hoping with all her heart that she would find Giles unharmed and intact... and just as importantly, forgiving.


Giles stumbled, before thrusting out a hand to stop himself from falling. He was bone-weary. All his pent up anger had evaporated the moment Buffy had thrown him out of her home; had left him limp and numb with shock. More than anything he wanted to return to Buffy and explain, to perhaps change her mind of how she thought of him. But hadn't he tried? 'Too many times...' his heart wept at him.

He pushed himself away from the lamppost that had stopped his fall and staggered on, all the while his mind cruelly replaying his ultimate rejection from Buffy. He was about to take another step forward, when a growl behind him had him turning instead. He felt a bone crack in his cheek before his body reacted to the blow he had just received. A tooth wobbled with the blow and he felt his legs wobble in sympathy. He coughed the blood from the tooth and blindly raised his hands in front of him to protect himself.

He heard another roar and took a swing. He almost toppled when he missed. He grunted when the thing punched him in the stomach and his head flipped back when a knee made contact with his face. He fell. He cried out when the thing stamped on his arm, breaking it instantly. He tried to turn, but a kick in the chest had him curling into a ball of pain instead. He frantically searched his pockets for a stake, all the while trying his best to ignore the agony from the kicks that were reigning in on him. Dots were beginning to dance in front of him and his ears rang with a high pitched squeal. He found the stake and tried to stand. He got as far as his knees before a kick to the face snapped his head to the side and a blessed silence took over all other senses.


Buffy turned the corner in time to see the kick that had rendered Giles unconscious. She growled, ran full pelt towards the vampire, pulling a stake from her pocket, and launched herself at it. She had her hand raised and was thrusting the stake into its heart before she had even landed. She stumbled into the dust of its demise, then turned and knelt beside Giles' prone body. "Oh God," she muttered, "Giles?" she whispered brokenly.

"B-Buffy?" Giles croaked.

"Yeah, it's me... I'm... I'm sorry, Giles... I'm really sorry..." she cried. Giles smiled as best he could up at her, but the pain of his injuries wiped it clean off his face. "Buffy..." he urgently whispered, "I love you, Buffy..."

"I know," she whispered, her voice wobbling. She took out her mobile phone, dialled the emergency services and then took a hold of Giles' hand. "They're coming, Giles," she whispered, "just hang on. I've... I've got a lot of time to catch up on."

Giles' eyes twinkled, "As have I," he whispered. He closed his eyes and then sighed.

Buffy sat stiff backed and upright. "Giles?" she whispered, "Giles!" She picked up his head and started to rock him in comfort. "Please, Giles," she urged him, "don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me." Buffy turned her head to the side and stopped her rocking, listening intently. She could hear the sirens of the ambulance getting nearer. "They're nearly here, Giles, please hold on," she begged.


Buffy sat at the side of Giles' bed, holding his hand, afraid to let go. The medical staff had told her that he was in a deep coma. They hadn't said whether he would survive or not, they couldn't. That was all up to Giles. She sniffled as she thought back on how she had treated him. She was on the verge of losing the other half of herself and all because she had been jealous.

She laid her head on the side of his bed and closed her eyes. The bleeps from the machine that monitored his heartbeat lulled into a deep sleep.



"Buffy?"

"Yeah, Giles?" she called back, and sighed with contentment when the man in question enveloped her in his arms. She breathed deeply the hint of after-shave and the warmth of him. She turned in his arms and lovingly looked up at him. "You called, oh obi-one?"

Giles laughed out loud, even though he silently cursed Xander for giving him such a nickname. "Were I so wise, would I have fallen in love with the Slayer?"
"Yeah," she stated with a chuckle, "that's where you got to be so wise."

"By falling in love with you?"

"Uh-huh..."

Giles chuckled and squeezed his Slayer and lover a little harder to him.

"Shall I prove to you, just how wise I *really* am?" he breathed into her ear.

Buffy silently nodded, all coherent thoughts left her the moment he made the suggestive remark in such a suggestive way.

Giles cupped Buffy's face and moved his own so that he could kiss her. He slowly parted her lips with his tongue and delved into her mouth, tasting her. He felt his manhood start to pay attention and deepened the kiss. He ran a hand through her hair, his fingertips tingling at the silkiness of it. He pulled out of the kiss and buried his head in her hair, taking a deep breath of her. She smelt of apple, making his mouth water at the thought of taking a bite of her.

He felt Buffy undo his shirt buttons, run a hand inside the moment the first two were undone. He pushed his hips into hers as she thoroughly explored his nipples. He stumbled a moment as she moved him backwards and fell onto the couch when he knees banged against them. He felt bereft of her touch, but not for long. He grunted as she slithered the length of his body, his manhood erect and fully paying attention now. He squirmed a little to get a more comfortable position then took a hold of the bottom of her top and raised it above her head. His hands immediately cupped her breasts and his thumbs flicked across the tip of her nipples through her bra, teasing her.

He gasped when she started to slowly grind against his manhood and cried out when she took a nip at a nipple. He arched his back and buried his head in one of the cushions. "Buffy!" he gasped.


Buffy giggled as she took off the remainder of her clothes and then started on Giles'. She could see his arousal already and licked her lips with the thought of her mouth being around his penis. All velvety and throbbing with desire... She suddenly felt hungry and unzipped Giles. His penis sprang away from where it had been trapped and wobbled invitingly at her. She slithered up his body again, feeling the bump of his hips against hers as she did so and kissed him thoroughly. On and on, not taking a breath, feeling her heart thump heavily in her chest, accentuating her desire.

Not able to wait any longer, she moved away from his face and slithered back down to where his penis now stood hard and erect. She grinned at him and then took him whole. She licked him as if licking an ice cream and sucked on him as if he were a lollipop. The moans she was getting from Giles accelerated her efforts. She cupped his balls and started to play with them.

Giles' grunts became animated with the rise of his hips. She had a thought, a thought to tease him. She let go of his balls, pushed down on his hips and sat on them, enjoying the feel of his warm penis beneath her. She started to fondle herself, starting with her nipples, then throwing her head back with a deep sigh of pleasure when they had reached their peaks. She sighed again as she ran a hand between her breasts, down the front of her belly and slowly into her womanhood. She jumped a little when she thrust two fingers inside herself, felt the muscles try to clench it to her. She pushed and squirmed, seeking a satisfaction that seemed to elude her. She moaned and writhed around the two fingers forcing them further inside herself, until she found herself on her back and with Giles hovering over her, softly growling.


Giles looked down at Buffy, her face flushed with her pleasuring herself. He had enjoyed the show until his manhood had reminded him that he would not get any satisfaction by simply watching. He ran a hand over her bush and then plunged two fingers inside her, caressing her walls that clenched around them. His heart thumped when she groaned her pleasure and thrust her hips heavenward, demanding more. He took his digits from her and sucked on them, tasting her. He then cupped her breasts again and flicked her nipples. It did not take them long to respond to his ministration and Buffy writhed again. His manhood twitched again and this time he obeyed its silent command. He shifted a little down her body, until his penis was over her opening. Without further thought he plunged into her, to the hilt, again and again, grunting with the effort to satisfy her. His breath caught in his chest as she writhed and groaned against him, her hips rising instinctively when his descended. He gritted his teeth and quickened his pace. Descending his hips as hers rose, meeting them in exquisite pleasure.

On and on until both their names filled the apartment as they came together and shouted their desire as one.


"Buffy?" Giles moaned.

Buffy sat bolt upright and blinked the darkness from her eyes.

"Buffy?"

She immediately sat forward, grasping Giles' hand, "Giles?" she squeaked, "Giles?"

Giles looked at her and smiled, "Hello," he whispered.

"Hi," she smiled, but crumpled immediately. "I'm sorry Giles... really sorry..."

"Me too," he replied.

"I love you," Buffy whispered, "and... and I'll prove it to you, once you're better,"

"Mmm," Giles hummed, "no better reason for getting better, as far as I'm concerned."

Buffy choked on a sob, but managed to say, "You better believe it mister."

Giles chuckled, but then grimaced in pain. His back suddenly arched away from the bed and he groaned, forcing his head into his pillow. He moaned a deep resonant elongated moan and flopped back onto the bed, his arms and legs suddenly convulsing. He heaved a breath that caught in his chest, then everything about him stilled... No movement... No breath... No comforting smile... Nothing...

Buffy stood blinking down at him. "Giles?" she whispered. She shook him once and then shook him harder when he did not respond. Giles' head limply moved from side to side, his mouth slackly opening as a puff of air escaped, but no words of comfort, words she *desperately* needed to hear, were uttered.

The heart monitor machine suddenly let out a high pitched squeal that reverberated within the silence of the room. The air suddenly came alive with people rushing into the room, immediately making their way to each side of her Watcher.
Buffy was shoved away and stumbled a moment. Her heart beat her fear, furiously thudding in her chest. She could feel her tears full of that fear rise within her, but only when the Doctor thumped at the chest of her Watcher's did she take a deep breath and scream her denial and pain.

THE END



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