To Live... is like Love... 8

She looked behind her again. She couldn't help it. 'Still there' she thought with relief. However her thoughts continued, aimed at the man behind her. Why was he here...? He shouldn't be here... He should be back at the Library... Safe 'n' warm... Safe... Why did he have to come...? Why do we have to train, if he can't tell then what I was good at...? That was why we trained, wasn't it...? So that he could tell me where I was going wrong, and-and give me a pat on the back when I do something right...? So... So why was he here with me...?


He saw her glances at him. They were becoming more frequent the closer they got to the cemetery. They bemused him, but they also had him concerned. "Buffy, please, concentrate." He whispered his admonishment to her. "We're nearly there."

Perhaps there was more to training a Slayer than he thought. I suppose it might have helped if I'd been one. At this moment in time, such was his concern, the ludicrousness of the thought passed him by.

Suddenly, he felt a heavy shove in his back and he went sprawling. He turned in mid-flight and landed on his back. There above him was a vampire. He gulped his fear. He frantically searched his pockets for the cross and just as the fangs of the beast descended, he thrust the cross up and into its face. It sizzled and left its mark on a cheek.

The Vampire howled in distress and backed away.

Giles then levered himself to a seated position and looked for Buffy. She was hand to hand with another vampire. Female... He watched with absolute admiration as she twirled and pivoted, like a ballerina or ice skater, fending off blows and striking with her own. Then his focus became the shadow that loomed over him.

"You're a Newbie, aint ya, Watcher... Never been out here before, with us unholy ones, have ya...?" It giggled. "Still, there's a first time..." There was a sudden crunching sound as the beast's face contorted from Human to Vampire, "...and a last time..."

Giles watched with horror at the display. He'd never been this up close to a Vampire... So close that he could hear the shifting of bones and the slithering of fangs elongating. He gulped, reflexively, the sight and sounds repulsing him. He braced himself for the thing to attack; shut his eyes, raised the cross and prayed for the best.

It came in the shape of a lithe, energetic, feisty, blonde-haired Slayer called Buffy...*His* Slayer... When the howl of the Vampire died amongst the dust settling, he smiled up at her with relief... then sneezed.

He stood, with the help of Buffy, and diligently brushed at his pants and jacket. He sneezed again as some of the dust rose into the air. He then looked back at her with relief and gratefully thanked her, for her hand up and for dispatching the Vampire.

"Tell me, Watcher-of-mine..." she suddenly hissed at him with anger, "from your vantage point, you know, of being flat on your back, with a vampire standing over you, tell me, what am I good at...? What *exactly* did I do wrong...? Or what did I manage to do right...?"

Her question, no matter how it was expressed, surprised him. "I-I don't know what you mean, Buffy..."

"Well..." she continued just as angrily, "*you* were the one to say that you needed to be out here, telling me where and when I go wrong... So, I'm asking you, what did I do wrong...? What else do we need to work on...? Or did I do good...?"

He knew that she knew he didn't have a hope of answering her. Knowing this made her question null and void, so he wondered why she even asked it. And yet, knowing this, he still found himself on the defensive, "This-this is not the right place or time to discuss such a thing, Buffy. Perhaps-perhaps at the Library, when we're finished here...?"

She thumped his arm. "Now... we talk about this now..." Once she'd caught her breath, she thundered on at him, "You're the one that told me that you *had* to be here...Do you *know* how close you came...?"

He could not help his puzzlement. She had left him far behind. "Close to what, exactly, Buffy...?"

"To... to *DYING!!!*" She yelled, "To dying..." Then she flopped to the ground, and for the second time that evening, her emotions got the best of her and she burst into tears.

As much as Buffy's emotions were getting the better of her, Giles could feel his ire get the better of him and before he could stop himself, through gritted teeth, he replied, "Right, young lady. Enough!!!... Enough!!!..." He felt as though he were in charge of a five year old, snivelling because they could not have the piece of candy they so desired with their life... "Enough!!..." He re- iterated, then added, "If you don't tell me, right this minute, what exactly has you so emotionally crippled, then-then..." His anger pitted out of him. Spluttered and sputtered until all he could feel was a tiny sense of amusement. He almost laughed at himself. He couldn't think of a punishment... It had never been brought up in Watcher training, and he'd never had a child of his own... He scratched his head and added, rather weakly, "Well, I'm not entirely sure *what* I would do, but-but be rest assured it would not be pleasant..."

In that one moment, all the tension in her dissipated. Buffy laughed... A soggy, tear filled laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.

He sat beside her and whispered, "Buffy, what is it...? Please... Tell me..."

She finally looked up at him and said, "You shouldn't be out here, Giles. This is *my* bad... *My* job... You should be back at the Library finding out what's next and then telling me what it is...not out here, risking yourself... *I* should be doing the risking and *you* should be doing the... the whatever else that needs to be done..."

"Don't you want my help...?"

She nodded, "You're the best, Giles... Okay, so I've only know you five minutes compared to Merrick, but-but it was a nice dream you gave me..."
He tipped his head to the side, in question...

She continued on... "That it was possible to have a life and Slay... to have friends and Slay... but-but it can't be that way..." She started to sniffle, but bravely put her tears on hold and quickly added, "I'd just get you all killed, 'n' I don't wanna get you killed." The tears came then, but the anxiety she had displayed did not follow, only a sense of sadness and loss, for a life she so desperately wanted but knew she couldn't have.

He sighed in sympathy, then took her in his arms, as he would a child of his own, and soothed her with a hand tracing comforting circles on her back and with words softly spoken into her hair. "Oh, Buffy..." he eventually spoke aloud, "you might be right, but there's no turning back now. Willow and Xander know about you and the Slaying... and about Vampires being real and a threat to us..."

He lifted her chin so that he could look at her. "Don't you think that if they hadn't wanted anything to do with this, that they'd have run to their homes, to safety, long before now...? Don't you think I've tried to dissuade them from helping...? That my greatest hope would be that they were safe and sound, without the knowledge that they stumbled upon...? That *you* were safe and sound, sleeping the night away in innocence, like so many other girls and boys your age...?"

She blinked up at him and whispered, "But what about *you* Giles...? I've gotta know that *you're* safe..."
"We can't always get what we wish for... We just have to make the best of what we got and strive for the other." He sighed with relief at knowing it was a problem he might be able to resolve for her. "You *can* have your friends, Buffy. You *can* have a life outside of Slaying, I wouldn't want it any other way.... My God, Buffy, you deserve it..."

She frowned a moment, before replying, "You-you didn't answer my question..."

"And that was...?"
"What about you...?"

He knew the answer. It was something that had been there from the beginning. Buffy wasn't just a Slayer that he had to determine that she survived each battle, she was also Buffy, the vibrant, young girl, full of life, with the intricacies and delicacies of any other teenager.

He smiled up at her, "To know that you are safe, to know that you will wake to a sunrise each morning, despite the horrors that you face before that can pass, but to know that you are alive for another day... that's good enough for me..."
He pulled her face up again to look at him, and then added, "And I will do whatever, *whatever* it takes, to ensure that my wish will come to pass...Don't take that away from me, Buffy... I couldn't bear it..."

She turned to face him fully, then lunged forward and hugged him with desperation. "I won't... I won't... but-but you gotta promise *me* something..."

He pulled away slightly, "And that would be...?"

"That my wish, that *you* see the sunrise as well, will come true..."

His eyes lit up with the warmth he felt towards his Slayer and the smile, that caressed the edges of his mouth, was genuine and filled with a love he would have had for one of his own. There and then he came to the conclusion, training a Slayer to being assigned to *The* Slayer, there *really* wasn't any comparison... And he would take the being assigned to *The* Slayer any day.

"And I will do my utmost..." he promised her, "...to make your wish come true, also..."

Travelling along the sigh of relief Buffy let go of, was a release of all the anxiety and fear, for this man, that she had carried these few days. She knew that he was a man of his word. She didn't know how she knew, only that he would, as promised, try his absolute best to make her wish come true.

And that was good enough for her...

THE END



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